When I Stopped Praying
[Luke 22:39-46]
“…and that is when I stopped praying.”
My bus stop was .7 miles away from my house. That is pretty far for the short legs of a 7th Grade Boy. That is also a long time to think, two times a day every school day. Most of those thoughts centered on prayer and whether prayer was even worth it.
As I walked home, I allowed my pace to place me yards behind the other kids. In the relative privacy, I lived out the questions I had about prayer. As I would walk, I would quickly flail my right arm to the side. I would then quickly flail my left arm. My intent? I was trying to make a sudden movement before God knew I was going to make that move. After each flailing of the arm, I assured myself that God must have know which arm I was going to flail regardless of whether I had known beforehand. I tried to complicate matters by faking left, then faking right, and then flail left in hopes of fooling God. I painfully consented that God knew everything I would do and would not be fooled by my fakes. I concluded that nothing I did mattered because either way God already knew what I was going to do.
…. And that was when I stopped praying.
For over a year, I continued to attend church and read the Bible, but I did not pray. I thought “Why pray for something that God already knows will happen or not happen?”
In Luke 22, Jesus knows God’s Mission for sending him to earth and yet he prays. He prays that God would intercede and remove the pending crucifixion that waits for him. So, either Jesus is a fool who does not know what a 7th Grader knew or Jesus knew that our futures are not all determined.
Somewhere during those obligatory trips to church in middle school, I caught a glimpse of praying Jesus. I noticed that even though Jesus did not get the answer that he may have been wanting, his simple act of prayer meant that he believed in prayer. His prayer was not futile. My prayers are not futile. Prayer is not a waste of time regardless of whether you get what you prayed for or not.
Prayer can change things. It can change the future, or in this scene of Jesus’ life, prayer can change us in the present. After over 18 months of not talking to God, I learned enough of this lesson to renew my belief that God was acting in this world.
.. And was when I started praying.
[Reflection]
1. When was a time in your life when you stopped praying? Why?
2. When was a time when you did not “get what you were praying for” and still received the intimacy with God that you needed.
Steven Blair
Pastor of Congregational Care (Last Name M-R)
steven.blair@cor.org
www.stevenblair.wordpress.com (personal blog, updated weekly)
